How Not To Pay For Higher Education

I made a list of “Ways To Pay For College” and it started with “get an actual job” and ended somewhere around “donate eggs.” Obviously, this list started out sane and got progressively more drastic.

And I thought about how I’m [closer to] willing to donate eggs, but no one could pay me enough to be a surrogate mother. I don’t think there is a price that is high enough to be pregnant for nine months so, of course, I was then curious how much surrogate mothers get paid and I read the going rate was $15,000.

$15,000 is not enough to be pregnant for nine months. I did the math and that’s like getting paid $2.31 an hour. I’m pretty sure that’s below minimum wage in every state. [24-hour job, y’know because you’e not going to stop being pregnant at any time during the day.]

I dunno, maybe $100,000 to be pregnant for someone else. That’s $15.43/ hour. I think that’s fair because not only am I going to be pregnant for these people at the time, but I also have to live with or fix the I-had-a-baby body and hormone fluctuations for a good while so, yes, $100,000. If anything, that’s a discount.

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